Advice for Men:
Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook
DATING TIPS MAILBAG:
What Women Want In A Man
By David DeAngelo
I just bought the advanced CD
series & it's amazing what a difference they make over the book.
Being able to listen on the way to work, whilst out doing chores,
etc. is cool. I can feel the confidence building inside me,
it's like my own personal coach.
The C&F doesn't come naturally
to me at present so I've taken your advice and am using the
internet as a 'woman simulator' in order to practice. I've had
mixed results so far, I think a few took the teasing the wrong
way as some of them would suddenly stop replying.
I must be better at the C&F than
I thought though. The first time I went on this site I was chatting
to a few girls and one of them ended up giving me her mobile
and asking if we could go for coffee before I had chance to.
Anyway my question: You suggest that a date should simply be
'tea & stimulating conversation', which for all of the reasons
you give makes perfect sense to me. But once I've done the tea
& conversation with this girl, do you have any suggestions for
other dates where I can come across as the 'lover' instead of
the 'provider'. The only one where I wouldn't end up having
to shell out (buy her stuff) that I can think of is a walk along
the river or something, but that's rather dependant on the weather.
Thanks for changing my life.
AIB - London UK
Yea, well you're welcome for the
"changing your life" thing. Glad to help.
Now, you're kind of mixing up
a couple of concepts that I never intended to "depend" on one
If you want to know where to take
a woman for dates, that shouldn't be confused with whether or
not you come across as a "lover" personality, and not a "provider"
personality to her.
Let me ask you something... what
is a "date"?
What do you think that the purpose
of a "date" is?
Now, I call my material "Double
Your Dating", but what I DON'T mean is "take women out to dinner
twice as much as you used to".
The word "Dating" is simply a
word that all of us guys understand to mean "romantic interactions
So I use it.
But if you want to have more romantic
interactions with women, that does NOT mean that you need to
"take women out on dates" in order to do it.
Are you with me?
I mean, what do couples do a year
after they get together...?
They stay home most of the time,
do normal things like go shopping, and generally behave like
they did before they met.
This whole "going out to dinner"
ritual is really an amazing concept. It's awesome how powerful
it is... and how guys really believe that they need to do it
(or similar things) in order to get a woman's attention in a
Here's the bottom line:
If you want a woman to think of
you as a "lover", then BE ONE.
If you want her to think of you
as a provider, then just BE ONE.
What you haven't quite realized
fully yet is that when you know how to trigger ATTRACTION in
a woman, all the "normal" rules go away.
If a woman feels that powerful
emotional ATTRACTION for you, then she'll do ANYTHING with you...
just to be in your presence and have your attention.
If you have dialed up the ATTRACTION,
then all you need to say is "come over here".
No dates required.
Now, if you buy her dinner 10
times, call her 3 times a day, and chase her around, then it
will be EXPECTED that you continue this pattern... and provide
NOTE: If you're buying a woman
dinner twice a week, giving her flowers, calling her every day,
and basically "chasing" her, then you can be about 80% sure
that there's another guy in the picture... but guess what? He's
the one who SHE calls, and he's the one who says "Come over
later, I'm busy now"... no dates required.
If you want to be a LOVER to a
woman, then DO IT.
You don't need to wait until the
third time out for coffee or tea.
You'll learn that ATTRACTION doesn't
have a timeline.
It happens VERY QUICKLY, if you
know how to trigger it... and you don't need a lot of "date
ideas" once you do.
And now that I've avoided your
question for a page or two, let me answer with this:
I often take women to do "regular"
things with me. I'll take them to the grocery store to shop
with me, out to the mall to pick things up, and down to the
bookstore to buy a book.
First, start BEING the LOVER immediately.
Then, notice how women DON'T CARE
what you do together, as long as she's with you.
Just wanted to say that after
reading your material, I experienced a mental shift. I now see
situations in terms of: was I self-referenced (C & F Man) or
externally referenced (wussie boy)? It is now very clear that
success in anything comes to leaders not followers and women
hate dealing with followers. For example look at little boys
dealing with little girls when they are playing together. They
boss them around, make them play by their rules and those girls
grow up expecting men to lead them. Just watch any John Garfield
or Lee Marvin movie. Leaders get the girl, wussies get to be
used and discarded. I've made my choice.
E from Chi
Good. Now help me get the word
out to the other 3 billion guys on the planet.
You're right. Women don't like
men who are FOLLOWERS.
Women aren't ATTRACTED to men
who are FOLLOWERS.
But guess what? Most men FOLLOW
Thanks for reminding us that we
need to LEAD. Leading creates ATTRACTION. Following creates
the curious dry feeling.
Dave-- I definitely have to give
it to you. You are "da shizznitt", lol. Your DYD dvd series
has really changed my entire life. I now feel like I am in control
of "My World". I was a little hesitant about buying your product...
but I just said "What the Hell...What can I loose???" I am military
and in my spare time I am a bartender. You know what that means...
I see females out the izzass, lol. I was working one night and
a female came up to one of my fellow bartenders to order something
and while getting her drink... she asked told him... " all these
guys are staring at me. Do you think i'm cute?" Now normally
if I were in his shoes and hadn't learned what you taught me...
I would have melted and told her that she was the finest thing
to step foot on this base... case in point...that was what he
said. He just bent down unzipped his pants and practically handed
her his nuts. Hence, her hands being the nutcracker. I interrupted
them while he was "dazed and confused" and told her "Actually
they're looking at that big pimple on your forehead. She stopped
and turned towards me and laughed and hit me on the arm. Then
I told her not to get mad cuz I was cuter than she. She smiled
and for some odd reason... she could not keep herself away from
the bar. I just pretended that she was one of my friends that
I tease all the time and just called her on everything that
she did. Man... I couldn't believe that she was really eating
this up!!! The other bartender that she was talking to first,
couldn't believe that I was doing this!!! He.... for some odd
reason didn't GET what was going on... It was like jets flying
over his head. And to show that his nuts belonged to her...
he just kept trying to compliment her. She just glanced at him
smiled and quickly turned her head to pay him no mind. I got
her e-mail and number and she has been like putty in my hands
for the past three months. I have to give it to you, Dave. You
da man!!! I'm not a selfish person...so I gave him your e-mail
address and hopefully he'll get your system and realize what
he's been doing wrong. I should give him her e-mail address
so that he can ask for his balls back, lol. But... for those
who have doubts about Dave's system... I'm living proof of success.
JR - Mexico
OK, first of all, I think that
you must have some kind of bizarre NUT OBSESSION, dude.
And it's not right.
But hey, fortunately you're on
the right side of the "don't hand them over" equation, so everything
seems like it might be all right for you.
You've given some great examples
of how to get an attractive woman's attention, tease her, and
play with her to "spark" that initial sexual tension and "chemistry".
Now make sure you keep it up so
you're not writing me in 3 more months with the "She used the
Trojan Horse De-Nutting Technique" on me.
Hey Man, What has happened to
women's standards? All the beautiful babes with no neck dorks!
I am a good looking guy and I can't even get a phone number.
They go out with guys that weigh like 300 lbs and dress like
slobs. I wear nice clothes and drive a nice car and I can't
get a single date. Maybe it is where I live. In order to get
a date I will have to gain 200 lbs and have someone break my
nose so I am ugly enough for some girl to date me. American
girls suck! They have no taste anymore!
I give up!
No, I think that the problem is
that you whine like a whipped Bitch.
Women can smell a "victim" attitude
100 miles away, and it IS NOT ATTRACTIVE.
Women's "standards" are just fine.
The problem isn't them, it's YOU.
Now do yourself a favor and quit
ACTING like a little girl, and DO SOMETHING about your situation.
What, do you think that all the
average and ugly guys out there who have HOT girlfriends are
getting them by being ugly?
The answer is "No, they're not".
These guys are getting the babes
because they know how to make the women feel ATTRACTION.
Trust me, I know quite a few guys
who are NOT exactly the picture of "handsome"... but these guys
get a lot of women.
Because they KNOW HOW.
Now quit whining, and go LEARN.
Dear Dr. D, Just wanted to drop
you a quick note. I am a 34 year old and divorced using your
E-book to learn how to get back into the game. Since I was raised
by my parents to be a nice guy, submissive, wussy, it has been
a challenge to overcome these self-destructive traits---but
I am gaining ground every day. Also, I don't have any natural
ability for C&F. For the most part I am quiet and reserved----so
I have needed to re-train myself in that area also. You have
given me a good start by explaining attraction and what women
I want to stress the importance
of "practice". It's the only way to quickly improve your inner
and outer game. What has helped me is practicing on an old girlfriend.
I am sure many of your students like me have a woman that just
won't let you go from an old relationship. So, I have not completely
ended it for sex and companionship and she keeps me around for
sex and emotional support.
Anyway----to my amazing weekend:
Saturday, I went out with the old girlfriend and busted on her
and challenged her on many issues all night. My old self would
have shut up and zoned out---not this time. I didn't put up
with any of her nonsense. It ended at my place and we had an
amazing double session. She is now hooked more than ever even
though she knows I am seeing other people. She can't help herself.
I have triggered the attraction mechanism and more importantly
I know what I did to accomplish that. Sunday I spent the day
with a cute girl who had responded to my internet ad. We had
only been out once before. I played the game---didn't act overly
sexually interested, just enough....I used the C&F when I could,
but basically kept cool. She offered to pay our lunch/cocktail
bill. My old self would have foolishly denied her offer---thinking
I was the man, thinking I was being chivalrous (how foolish
;). This time I accepted without hesitation. Once back at my
place I used the start and stop technique. I would get her hot,
then I would back off. She would stop my hand from reaching
too far so I decided that I wasn't going to push it and that
tonight might not be "the night" with her so I was very relaxed.
At 10:00 she was getting ready to leave. We started making out
while saying goodbye----next thing I know , we were in the bedroom.
It was amazing. The fun lasted all night. Today I am tired with
a smile on my face. I know it worked out because I put the proper
groundwork in place. By turning my sexual advances on and then
off-----it really got to her. Acting as if I was evaluating
her...the whole thing. Thank you for pointing me in the right
direction, I am starting to get it!!! Literally ;)
Fort Lauderdale, Fl
Yea, you really are starting to
And you are RIGHT ON.
This stuff takes practice and
real-world experience using it before you really "get it".
Too many guys are just too damned
overly-analytical, and want to know how to do EVERYTHING before
they do ANYTHING.
I used to be this way... and it
cost me a lot of time and energy.
It's so amazing to actually get
out there and SEE results right in front of your eyes. It gets
you excited and willing to try more things... and it prepares
you for the future... for situations that are REALLY important.
Get out there and use this stuff.
What does it mean when a woman
says she wants to "work on herself" before she can have a relationship?
The literal translation for this
"I DON'T FEEL ATTRACTION FOR YOU,
BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU WITHOUT HURTING YOUR LITTLE
WUSSY BOY GIRLIE FEELINGS."
Any of the following:
"I need time alone right now."
"I need to find me first."
"Let's just be friends for now."
"I DON'T FEEL ATTRACTION."
That's the bottom line.
The problem is YOU, not HER.
Don't be surprised if this same
girl either IS or STARTS dating another guy seriously soon.
If you're hearing this kind of
thing often, then you need to take it as a sign that you're
not triggering ATTRACTION inside of women... and, more importantly,
that you need to LEARN HOW.
I recommend my Advanced Dating
This will help eliminate these
types of comments from women once and for all.
Here, let me brag for a minute...
I'm sitting here thinking about
it, and I can't remember a woman saying one of these things
to me in YEARS.
You are the man! I have been getting
your emails for about 8 months now I belive and have read your
book! Just yesterday I was in the store looking at CD's and
I noticed these two beautiful girls walking around and they
would constantly look over towards me. As I wandered around
the store more I noticed that they seemed to always show up
wherever I was. So I stopped them and asked the girl that I
was more attracted to "Excuse me but i'm going to have to ask
you to stop stalking me." She looked at her friend like 'What
is this boy talking about' and then she asked me for my name.
I immediately answered "Do you really think i'm just going to
give my name out to a stalker?" once again she looked like she
couldn't believe I was talking to her this way. We talked about
five more minutes and then I told her I had to go. She asked
me if I wanted her number so we could continue the conversation.
I pretended to think about it and then told her "I'm sorry but
I'm just going to be way too busy to find time to call you.
So If you promise to stop stalking me i'll give you my number
and you can try and catch me when I have a few minutes of free
time to talk." She eagerly took my number and when I got home
about an hour later she had already left a message on my machine
to see if I could go out with her this weekend!
I was so happy because I was curious
too see if I reversed the three minute phone number to give
away my number instead of getting hers would work and it did!
Anyway on to my question. As I stated this girl was with a friend
at the store who was also very attractive and was there the
whole time I was hitting up her friend. Is there anyway in these
situations where you can get both girls numbers?
Nice "reverse stalker" move.
I say things like this to women
all the time, and they generally love it.
To answer your question, YES,
there's an easy way to get both girls' phone numbers.
Then call and ask them BOTH to
come join you for a cup of tea.
Kill two birds with one stone.
Then, over tea you can decide
which one you like more.
I've had friends who have been
in similar situations report back that sometimes both women
will like you... and EACH OTHER as well.
I mean, what do you have to lose?
2 minutes of getting a phone number?
Look, your question was based
Fear that you'd offend one or
both of the women, and then lose everything.
The fact is that you never HAD
A phone number is easy to get.
If you feel like asking both women for their numbers, do it.
If you feel like asking them both to join you for tea, do it.
You get to make the rules.
I received your DVD series about
a month ago and have watched it in its entirety a few times.
I've noticed a strange circumstance since then, similar to what
Napoleon Hill says about how when you choose a definite major
purpose in life, ways and means of attaining that purpose seem
to magically appear to you. When I've been in situations where
I wasn't actually interacting with a woman and laying on the
C&F, they've still been acting attracted to me despite the fact
that I consciously did NOTHING in these situations. For example:
- A bar/restaurant I hit about
once a week has a very hot waitress staff, and one in particular
is a Pam Anderson clone who's always being stared at and complimented
by all the wussy guys. She's been working at least a dozen times
that I've been in there but has never acted like she even noticed
me until the last time (since I've watched the DVDs) and she
kept looking at me, over and over again, despite the fact that
I did NOTHING different. Finally I gave her the "wrinkled brow"
suspicious look and she got all self-conscious, said "what?"
and I came right back with "if you're gonna be that forward
and flirty with me you could've at least done your hair up a
little better" and then it was ON!
- I met some friends for happy
hour and a very hot chick was sitting at a table holding some
guy's hand. Every other guy in the place was staring at her
and she was so hot that I even overheard some of the waitresses
trashing her. The thing is, I had been watching the DVDs that
same day and came walking in with a particularly cocky swagger
and the wrinkled brow and she stared me down the whole way in.
Then she would not stop looking over at me while she was holding
this dude's hand, he was obviously a Wussy since he saw what
was going on and did nothing (I guess he's the guy she uses
for free dinners while she's banging the real men). At one point
she even took the long way to the bathroom to walk by me and
flirt but with the Wussy watching there was no op to get the
info... hopefully I run into her again.
It's obvious that just watching
the DVD series gives one an aura of confidence, since I did
nothing in these situations but show up. Kinda like reading
Comedy Writing Secrets then suddenly being funnier without actually
thinking about it and trying. Simply watching and learning this
material opens doors for you without trying!
Ah, you're tapping into the power
of the mind here.
One of the BIG benefits of learning
all of the material that I teach in my programs is the changes
that naturally occur inside your mind.
Once you see things differently,
you begin to BEHAVE differently as well. And it will happen
Now, I don't mean to sound new-agey
here, but this is the reality of the situation.
Women can pick up on subtle body
language that most men don't even know EXISTS.
When you start "mentally rehearsing"
some of the things you learn from my programs, you will automatically
act differently when you're in future situations with women.
Great job, and keep it up.
And make sure you send in some
future Success Stories, as I'm sure you're going to have many.
Blah blah blah, I shamelessly
compliment you, you feel like a deity... there we're done.
Your book would be worth it's
weight in gold, even if it were made of lead! I stumbled onto
your site by accident. A month before, I was Let's Just BeFriended
for being "too nice", and this was with an UGLY thing too! eh...
I was desperate. I actually laughed at those "losers" for getting
slapped on the arm and called a**hole, and later, I thought
the chicks were idiots for dating them!! I'm better now. After
reading your book it was like the heavens were parted and g*d
HIMself bitch slapped the wuss right out of me! Thanks.
Not only am I getting slapped,
bitten, chewed on, and fought over, I am LOVING it too! Just
the other day I was in a bookstore, and an old friend (read
"hot chick") of mine came in, I thought, 'hey I am here just
being my new self, lets try something', so I walked over to
her, said hi, and then said "I didn't expect to see a beautiful
young woman here" she said "aww that's so sweet" (read "you
wussy") but then I did something that has been working really
well for me, I busted on her. I said "maybe I still will" Slap
on arm, AND big smile. She was wearing this rather large skirt
with ruffles, so I said "wow... I didn't know the parachute
look was still in" while obviously staring at it. Another slap
on arm, this time laughing. Later she asked if I got my hair
cut (I hadn't) she said it "whatever it is, its really attractive."
There is this coffee shop in the store, so we had "stimulating
conversation" a little while went by, and she asked me to go
to her car with her, so she could "show me a new piece of art."
well needless to say, we are still "appreciating art" together,
and its been two months!
So the question is... Will complimenting
the ladies then busting on whatever I just complimented work
the same as if not complimenting at all?
Ah, one of my favorites...
Giving a woman a compliment, then
putting a backhanded twist on it.
"Wow, your shoes are cute. Did
you buy them new?"
"Your hair is pretty. Did your
mom do it for you?"
"Nice car. If you're homeless."
Pick up any modern men's magazine
and you'll get a bunch of good ideas for this type of thing.
Cocky & Funny can be very powerful
once you learn how to use it. Great example, and thank you.
Hey Dave, I have been reading
your emails and have purchased your ebook and have read and
studied from both. I would 'study' areas I felt I was weak in
or would that be wussy in, to improve, naturally, but would
read everything for as much knowledge as I could absorb. Well,
I have a success story but with a slight twist to it. The twist
is my success was due to playing off of 2 other guys' failures.
I went to a club in a part of
town I normally do not go to. Not that it is a bad part of town
I just never thought of going there. I went by myself, so on
my own, no one for moral support, in a place I have never been
before. Talk about giving your ideas the acid test, this was
going to be it. I was looking down at the dance floor getting
into the music and noticed behind me two girls sitting at a
table. I then noticed 2 guys approach and one started to talk
to one of the girls. The other guy was just standing there looking
at girl #2 trying to get up the nerve to say something, from
what I could tell, since I was that way myself in a not so distant
past. I just turned away and didn't pay much attention but after
10 mins or so the same guy talking to girl #1 is not making
any headway. Guy 2 still had his wuss game going so no change
there. I decided to ask girl # 2 to dance but wanted to get
her attention and interest, as well. So I leaned over and said,
"While that guy is trying to hustle your friend, whom, I might
he is not doing very well, would you like to dance?" Well, this
girl just cracked up laughing, she did not want to dance but
did want to talk more. She went on to say that there is nothing
he could say or do at this point to make her want to dance or
go out with him. He just doesn't get it, she said. I went on
to say I know it is crowded and a bit loud here but one should
understand NO easy enough. She agreed and went on to mention
how much of a loser his friend is just standing there. I then
remembered a statement someone used in an email of yours and
thought I would use it myself. I said to girl #2 "what's that
smell, do you smell that?" She replies, "What smell?" I said,
"The smell of desperation." Well, Dave, that girl laughed so
hard she fell out of her chair. I helped her up and when she
told me she had to tell her girl friend that and when she leaned
over to talk to her I just turned away and went back to looking
at the people dancing.
After a bit this girl came up
to me and said look at those losers they are just standing on
the dance floor while people are dancing around them. They did
look pretty pathetic. We talked a bit and I asked her name but
I did not quite understand it since she was Latin and had a
Latin name I could not make out what she said, what with all
the loud music and noise. Just then some friends of hers and
her girl friend's came in and she started to talk to them so
again I just turned away and watched people on the dance floor.
After a bit she came back and grabbed my arm and said come on
I want to introduce you to my friends. After she introduces
everyone to me I turn to her and ask what was your name again?
Is it ludicrous? She just busted up laughing again and tried
to tell me her name again. By now, she is holding my hand and
we started dancing right there. We talked a bit and I told her
she has to write her name down so I can pronounce correctly
when I call her. She say's, "Call me?" I said, "Yes, since you
are writing your name down you might as well give me your number.
How else am I going to call you? Oh, and if you have email you
might as well give me that also."
She said, that it was cool meeting
me and gave me a hug and kiss. She then went back to her friends
and I just turned away and called it a night.
It may not have been nice to use
the 2 guys wuss behavior to my advantage but it worked.
N from Miami Beach
LOL... so you went off secretly
to a bar alone... hoping that no one would see you testing the
materials out for yourself... lol.
Yea, sometimes it's rough when
other guys act like Wussy Jackasses...
But hey, it makes your life easier
and more fun!
So what the hell, right?
I have to say, one of my personal
favorite things to do with women I've just met is make fun of
how other guys are acting.
It's particularly fun in these
bar-type situations, where you can watch one interaction after
Most guys suck at approaching
women, and it makes for great humor and conversation.
Of course, talking about how terrible
other guys are INSTANTLY separates you from the herd, and kind
of puts you in the "NON-WUSS" category all by itself.
Another personal favorite of mine
is to tell a girl that she should get together with one of the
guys that is acting like a jackass.
"I think you and that Wuss-Boy
over there would make a cute couple. He looks like he needs
a mom like you to tell him what to do..." etc.
You've done a great job here,
now keep it up.
And thanks for the great example.
Always remember in these situations that a big scoop of COCKY
& FUNNY will make things go well.
In this Mailbag you've heard
from a lot of guys who are using my eBook "Double Your Dating"
to improve their success with women and dating. It comes with
three additional free bonus booklets, and it's a complete introduction
to my principles and techniques. Of course, it also comes with
a 100% guarantee. Go download your copy here... you can be reading
it in literally a few minutes from right now. And be sure to
sign up for my free newsletter while you're at it. You can do
Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook •
David DeAngelo is the
author of "Double Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know
About How To Be Successful With Women", and has taught thousands
of men how to be more successful with women and dating.
Copyright 2008 David DeAngelo
Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and
"Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications